the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
