It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
