I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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