tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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