i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
