I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
