Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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