he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
