Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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