your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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