im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
