i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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