So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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