Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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