I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
