Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
