weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize