Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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