I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me