there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.