We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
