i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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