Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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