spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
