ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
