ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
