who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize