New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
