so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
