im drinking this country out of the recession.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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