What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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