imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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