K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
