I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
