I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
