im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
