I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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