the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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