Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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