I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize