if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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