You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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