O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize