I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize