he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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