Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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