We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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