he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You left your phone here
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