its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
