Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My bed smells like the plague
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