My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize