the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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