I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
