things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
