I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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