So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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